Saturday, March 30, 2013

Dirt anyone?

Dirt anyone?
3-25-13 Monday
Well today was Npie Kid Dear kindergarten, this is the Kindergarten that we have to meet out in the front at 6:30am so that we can get on the bus and head to the school with the kids. I set my alarm so I could get up bright and early and I, as usual, was wide eyed and awake the second it went off. I woke up with a pressure in my head like my sinuses were geetting ready to strike and my throat was on fire... ah man dirt shoveled onto my back... whatever shake it off and drink some water... I got ready for school and then checked my phone because I had a few extra min and regret that choice every time I think about it. Long story short I got an email that had the equivalence effect of a punch straight to your solar plexes. (<--- however that is spelled) I obviously didn't reply to the message because I at least know that words are impossible to take back and for that reason you should never say things when you are upset... so I headed to the gate with my drained enthusiasm, clouded thoughts and broken heart. I got on the bus that didn't come till 6:55 and spent the next hour ride trying to force the overwhelmingly pressing hopeless feeling to the back of my mind.

Our head teachers Susan and Alicia came with us to the school so that they could do evaluations for us four. But first, they let us go eat breakfast. The food is alright here its just FREEZING. My toes were numb and I was trying to move so I could eat but I had lost all appetite after this morning. Whatever... shake off the dirt and one foot forward … So I just headed up to my room to go teach. Everything went pretty well, I got my little 2 year olds to point to parts of the pictures in my books and say “Pig”,“Wolf” and growl but that’s better than last week! I really do spend that 40min talking to my self but it is alright because I wasn't worried about life or home. When I teach I am able to just let everything go and focus on my kids and I am thankful for the chance to let my brain not worry about what is going on back home and just enjoy myself.
After we got done teaching Alicia and Susan let us know that we were skipping lunch at this school and going to to our school to eat instead so we will be back for in-service on time... okay whatever just let me get back home to my room. Hannah and Maddie were upset because they really like that schools food. How they can taste it I dunno, my taste buds are frozen like the rest of my body so I am more focused on moving rather than tasting or enjoying the food.
We got home and I just went to my room and skipped lunch. Wasn't feeling it. I laid in my bed from lunch time till dinner time trying to sleep but so worked up that I couldn't shut off my mind. If only I could install an on/off switch in my mind. I went to dinner and made myself eat a roll because I haven;t eaten all day and then went back up stairs, took some medicine and then laid back down. I am still here in bed and thank goodness for Ben and Josh because they just came to tell me that every one who wants to go to xi'an for our next vacation to see the Terracotta Warriors ( something I really want to see) has to pay for the plane ticket right now... I don't have the money now so I would have to go to an ATM so I was just going to miss it but Josh said he would spot me til I felt well enough to go get the money and pay him back. Thankfully. I am headed to bed. My head hurts my nose is clogged I cant breathe and my throat hurts. Goodnight.

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